There is such a listening game: two people in a group, one person for 3 minutes in a row, another person only listen, no voice, no more interruption, body language.

Then change it.

After the end, everyone turns to talk about what the other person said first, and then the other person talks about whether the information that the hearer describes is what he wants to express.

The final results are similar to those in other training courses, with 90% of them in general.

Loss of information, 75% of people lose the phenomenon of important communication information, and 35% of listeners and speakers have serious differences in communication information, for example, one of them wants to express that "marriage needs to be operated" while the other side has heard that it does not have to force itself too much in marriage. This is a complete distortion of communication information.

Effective listening is a skill that can be learned through learning.

Knowing your listening behavior will help you become an efficient listener.

Thomas, a famous American psychologist.

According to Gordon's research, listening can be divided into three levels according to the behavioral characteristics that affect listening efficiency.

The process of a person from level to level three listener is the process of improving communication and communication efficiency.

Level 1: at this level, listeners do not pay enough attention to what the speaker says, but pretend to be listening to other unrelated matters, or to think about refutation.

What he is more interested in is not listening, but rather speaking.

Listening at this level leads to the breakdown of relationships, the emergence of conflicts and the formulation of bad decisions.

Level two: the key to the realization of interpersonal communication is the understanding of the meaning of words.

On the second level, listeners mainly listen to the words and contents, but often miss the speaker's intonation, body posture, gesture, facial expression and eye expression.

This will lead to misunderstanding, erroneous behavior, waste of time and neglect of negative emotions.

In addition, the listener expresses his consent by nodding his head.

Instead of asking for clarification, the speaker may be mistaken for what he said was fully understood.

Level three: people at this level show the characteristics of an excellent listener.

This listener searches for interested parts in the speaker's message, which they consider to be an opportunity to acquire new and useful information.

Efficient listeners should be clear about their personal preferences and attitudes, so that they can better avoid making arbitrary judgments or stimulated verbal influence on the speaker.

Good listeners do not rush to make judgments, but feel the same way.

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They can look at things in their own way, and ask questions rather than justify them.

According to statistics, about 80% of people can only listen to level one and level two, and only 20% of them can listen to level three.

How to achieve a high level of listening? Here are some ways to learn high-level listening: concentration: through nonverbal behaviors, such as eye contact, a relaxed posture, some friendly facial expressions and pleasant intonation, you will create a positive atmosphere.

If you are attentive, attentive and relaxed, your partner will feel valued and safer.

Listen with a caring attitude: it's like a sounding board that allows the speaker to test your opinions and emotions, while feeling that you are in a non verdict and non judgmental posture.

Don't ask a lot of questions right away.

Continuous questioning often gives people the impression that listeners are being "roasted".

Act like a mirror: feedback what you think the other person was thinking about.

Summarize the speaker's content to confirm that you fully understand what he said.

Avoid preoccupation: this happens when you invest with your own attitude.

Putting your personal attitude into a problem often leads to feelings of anger and injury, or makes you too early to conclude and appear arbitrary.

Use spoken language: use simple sentences, such as "Er", "Oh", "I understand", "yes" or "interesting" to identify with each other's statements.

We encourage speakers to talk more about them by saying "listen to", "we discuss and discuss", "I want to hear your thoughts" or "I am very interested in what you are saying".

Following these principles will help you become a successful listener.

Develop the habit of using these principles every day and internalize them into your listening ability, and you will be surprised at the results.